alright, so it took a mix of procrastination, pro-activism, a deep self-conviction, and the general sense that people were beginning to stop loving me to bring me here.

okay, so i haven't said anything in a while:
1 part unappreciated
1 part undriven
2 parts busy
that, and there are just a bunch of things going on that i'm not going to say here. and, before you ask, no, i don't feel like sharing. i've just been thinking things through rather than letting you all in on what the problem is and before i've thought about it myself.

but don't worry about me.

but with exams coming up i feel obligated to let you know something. i'm not as sure as i used to be. and i'm beginning to feel bad for doing what i said i'd never do. anyway, back to exams. you'll do fine. you will. or you have. or else you'll develop a learning complex.

here's to the complex!

here's to the microphone complex!

here's to the girl complex!

buuuuuuuuuut i have learned four fun songs on the guitar... and that makes me happy. when i say fun i don't mean pop. here's to anchored chords! huzzah! don't even ask.

so i've started thinking less positively about the future, because i've realized that i don't have a plan, or even an idea. so come on.

well? let's have it.

-andy

$2,846,912.

Sucks when it hits you:
The only problems I can't fix are my own.

As simple as it sounds, can you say it this and mean it:
I'll save my life for something good.

You know what, it took me fifteen years to finally diagnose myself. I've got some sort of fear of a blank canvas. I think there's a scientific name for it. Something like "an artist," or something like that. There's a cure. It's called "a good artist." Can't wait to get me some of that. But until then, you'll have to wait until I've got something important to say before I say anything. That's just how it goes -- but don't count me among the dead, because they'll bury me in the snow.

I'm beginning to think Job is my book. I'm beginning to think a lot of things. Like puzzles are fun, dogs are still cute, cute is still good, bombs still aren't my friends, jobs are still in, my eyes might always burn, i'm going to need more sleep, Arrested Development makes me laugh, Starbucks is just down the road, a breakdown may be in order, tickets will be sold, I'll be going to Cornerstone, hopefully, math is just that thing you have to do, I could name my kids right now, I can learn how to play songs that means something (no offence, Claire de Lune, Hot Cross Buns, the works), that "everything feels like the movies" (but not in the way I want it to), and that you just might be too Real. Yeah. Too Real, too Right, too Much, too Good, too late. Just, honestly, too too late.


- Lost my arm
On the Animal Farm,
andy