distress is not being able to get a girlfriend with a 4 to 1 ratio (girl to boy)
distress is when it's easier to get a boyfriend with a 4 to 1 ratio
distress is knowing it's easier to get a girlfriend with a 1 to 1 ratio

distress is buck-a-beer wednesdays
distress is getting wasted on tuesday

distress is horrible slogans
distress is worse parodies

distress is needing to spice up your prison food
distress is your cellmate not being able to find his seamonkey food

distress is marrying a hippie
distress is divorcing a hippie
distress is writing Y-R-E-S-I-M on a hippie's forehead

distress is living in an appartment for the mentally unstable
distress is getting evicted from an appartment for the mentally unstable

distress is reliving your childhood
distress is forgetting how