After sixteen and a half years, I feel like I've missed out on some massive revelation that probably came in the nighttime. Or some other time when I had checked-out. That kind of makes it hard to pinpoint the exact time, but I'm okay with it. So here goes another attempt at sounding calm, collected, smart, poetic, and still reasonable to all of you -- awesome.
Bring back the color in your eyes
Bring back the color
Bring back the color in your eyes
Bring back the color
Because I already forgot what color they were.
I moved to Michigan once, and it was the start of something. I still have memories from there, and they're weird. They don't feel right, they're the loose ones that rattle around when I shake my head. Because those were some of the first feelings that I can still recall. So that's my first feeling of inferiority, embarrassment, affection, appreciation, whatever.
And now it feels like I've jumped on a plane and flown back to Michigan. Because thoughts are loose in my head again. And I'm feeling that same kind of rush as if it were the first time. Because any experience or whatever that I had is gone. I'm back to square one, building from the ground up.
My finger is bleeding.
Okay, I just gave out my phone number today. It was a weird moment, kind of like my way of saying I screwed up and the one time I wasn't taking precautions it came back to haunt me.
Yeah, kind of like saying that.
But since we're on the topic of things coming back to haunt me, I'd like to make this perfectly clear: Things will come back to haunt me, I plan on it, and I won't be surprised when they do. Does that mean that I'm walking into the warzone fully knowledgable? Yes. Is this some sort of self-destructive path marking the undoing of myself and just how insane I really am? No. There's a much simpler explanation for all of this. And it comes in three letters, four letters, five letters, six letters, eight letters, and fourteen letters. Take your pick, it's all the same to me.
No really, take your pick. Don't think too long on it. Just say it.
I think a little while back I said something about trying to seperate my private life and my public life; especially when it came to this. This place. Allow me to put that whole thing on hold for a moment. I've had a lot of weird or bad things this break. I don't know. I kind of just want it to end and take my bad luck streak with it (Grandpa says that Lufts don't believe in luck). And I can't believe it took me listening to Damien Rice at 1:30 in the morning -- a week into the break -- to finally realize that it's like this.
I kind of want it to go away
And I kind of can't handle it
I kind of think it should go away
But I like it
YOU=IT
16 comments:
here's to not freaking out;) and hitting the 'post' button:
you always mention a revelation. what is it you're really after andy?
i choose fourteen letters.
ps. i like the last picture. glad to see you're still usin' your camera
i'm going to have to go with 8 letters..
i'm not going to pretend like i didn't get half of it
i didn't get half of it
does anyone see a ping pong game in the near future?
reading your blog is almost like reading a good book or at least an entertaining book...
doesn't mean i understand any of it. but it sure makes for an interesting read.
kinda makes you wanna come back and read more...
ping pong brent..? really?
this post was really... interesting, its one of those things where while reading it we all know your thinking of a personal experience but we can all apply the same thoughts... in some sort of way.
fourteen. more is always better.
the whole time i was reading this, i thought it was abram's blog, and i couldn't find any major spelling mistakes(except american "color"). but then i found out it was you, and the world made sense again.
i really like that song too. delicate.
hope your finger gets better.
a lot of interesting sentences. but when you put them together it's confusing, as i'm sure you know. i guess it's the 'randomness' obsession that will probably be stuck in the blood of our generation forever.
haha now i want to write a whole post about randomness. but i won't because i'll probably get one sentence down and think of something else and it will no longer be a post about randomness but a random post.
DEEP hole in andy's soul
a WINDOW to gaze in to
SEE but don't touch
my turn:
no. no no no.
this is not random.
and that's right -- look, but don't touch.
abram. o abram.
i wasnt saying it was. i meant that's the way it looks from my perspective.
hmm. how have i missed this post for so long.
alot of the things said already represent my thoughts on it heh thats what i get for being slow i guess.
you say just enough to make us curious and a bit intrigued.
its personal yet not.
and i'll have to go with three letters just because john said more is always better. more is not always better john.
it is in this case. but it isn't always better. just most of the time.
things coming back to haunt you... i have a feeling that there's a pejorative connotation lurking somewhere behind those words. en tous cas, j'espère qu'il n' y a rien qui te "haunt".
Во-первых, любая суд всегда субъективна. И здесь ради адекватного представления о своих возможностях настоящий наилучший способ – склонять объективной информацией о том, сколько вы конкретно можете или не можете в той или другой области. Именно следовательно, работая с "повышением самооценки", я сначала всего предлагаю своему клиенту возможность получить объективные знания о свойствах и специфике его собственной обида, о его собственных реальных возможностях и внутренних резервах, а также помогаю ему определиться с тем, в каких областях ему наиболее перспективно вкладываться в "повышение самооценки" посредством дополнительных знаний и умений. [url=http://profvesti.ru/o-derevyannom-stroitelstve.html]амурский строительный портал[/url]
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