Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face

31 | the sunrise project from JJ Starr on Vimeo.

KA-BAM
And I'm back.

Once again, I'll be bringing your way some of the things that you value most--and some of the things that you could really care less about. But enough chit-chat. Let's get down to business. The business of you shutting up and listening. I don't do this very much anymore, and I like to think it's with good cause. I really don't like showing up with nothing to offer. That is, I don't like writing for half a page, keeping you all around in hopes that I'll say something worthwhile, if it's not going to happen. It's not that you don't care what I'm up to and wouldn't be interested in a cut and dry rehashing of all the things I've been up to, it's that I really don't want to be that guy. I'd much rather do my best to say something relevant and see if I can talk about something, I don't know, other than myself. On an ultimate scale, that is.

Maybe I should rephrase that. It's not that I don't like talking about myself. It's that I don't like talking about actual events. I'm much more hypothetical, I guess.




I spend most of my time these days on edge. In a constant state of cynicism, questioning what's going on as a product of some bizarre concoction of events. I overthink, underthink, and ignore all at the same time. And then sometimes I just don't care anymore. I have limits, I guess. I like to think that on some level I will always have that unconditional ability--but when my conscious, controlled thinking kicks in... then I have limits. Which is to say that sometimes and in some cases, I have chosen to have limits. It's not necessarily an indication of the person or the situation, but perhaps they have just worn out their welcome.
I suppose you'd all be proud of me--four years later and I've finally started calling the shots. Except now we're looking at a doomsday clock. Which is to say that somebody should have done this sooner. Namely me.

Atelic from duckeyejey on Vimeo.

I find that when I really need something, I always manage to come up with it. I think it's a general rule, actually. Something subconscious about it. We know that we need this, and need it bad, so we say "Screw the pain," and step in front of the buses ourselves. That extra bit of effort seems to always push us over the top. I'm always surprised and how people seem to pull off remarkably improbable feats when they just NEED them. That says something about character, I think. That resolve, that drive. The desire to be someone who just won't be beaten. So that's what this is. Now I'm saying I won't be beaten.

Ramona Falls "I Say Fever" from Barsuk Records on Vimeo.

But don't you leave me hanging.