I Got 99 Problems

In an effort to maintain a level of honesty when I tell people that I'm handling everything just fine, I turn to you. You, oh ever-weary reader. You are the light at the end of the tunnel, the oasis in the desert, the nap after a Monday morning of class.

Let's stay cutting edge.

Cracker Bag from Glendyn Ivin on Vimeo.

I've been ranting a lot today, and I'm not really a fan of myself for it. To be honest, I've been doing some reflecting to boot. I'm nearly twenty and have yet break out into some full-fledged Adlerian self-realization. I'm not yet the "optimal me". But what's most unsettling is that I don't even know which direction I'd go from here to find it. To be honest, I think I need to back up a few turns in the maze to get back on track. I have all these ideas of what I don't like to see in people, and I can point it out in an instant when I see it. Probably because I've had practice. I've seen it a lot. However, I can't for the life of me point out the positive things I see in myself that I can build on or I can rely on to make myself superior (in the Adlerian sense).
Meanwhile, I'm making some sort of record mark in futility and, more appropriately, what will henceforth be referred to as "humanitarianism". Perhaps an inappropriate term, given the recent international circumstances. But when was it ever going to calm down enough for it to be less unpalatable? I digress.
I believe the point I am trying to make is that I am once again going to be taking back my life for me. Sympathies will be doled out in handfuls, where they once came in spades. Words will be toned down, where they once ran like a symphony. And emotions be damned--I'll block up that river. Consider this my attempt at a much more objective outlook on the lives of others. Because sometimes it takes too much to try and find the faded lines people walk between for them. And tougher still to guide them back from the dead ends and toward the goal.

"This is history in the making
So shut the fuck up and let me make it"

I think all the pathways are what confuse me. I'm never sure which is the wisest, quickest, or safest. I feel pressure to be this persona (man, just RECYCLING that lecture). And I admit that it's not always a bad thing; sometimes that persona is exactly who I want to be in certain scenarios. But it would be too painful and difficult to carry out that lifestyle every minute of every day--so I won't try anymore. So, what do you do when you don't know how to get through that maze?
Well. You start where you want to be--at the end--and then you work your way back from there.