AWESOME

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Since some of you should be able to appreciate the artistic merit of looking like a poor internet connection on a webcam:

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To be completely honest, coming here is in part an effort to stay awake.

Part 1: Where I Miss You.
I could be that guy. The one who picks up the pieces of some other guy's short-lived venture into monogamy. Who picks fights with the top dog for a piece of trash. I could be that guy--but I'm not. I'm the other guy.
The guy who spends his weekends in his room, putting on a fake smile for someone who won't even see him. The one everyone has to look twice at to figure out if he's just kidding, but they all secretly want to be. They want this. But they don't want to work for it. And that's where I come in. Or something. Every day is a paradox of successes and failures. The weaker I get the stronger I show myself to be. Since there's no way that comes across clearly the first time, I suppose I'll clarify. You're holding up a giant boulder and someone cuts off one of your arms, but you're still holding up that boulder. Then you're forced to show the true strength you have in that one arm. So I guess by clarifying I just meant making a metaphor.
Allow this all just to set the table. We'll create an imaginary diorama of the scenario in your minds. One where the protagonist is over all the politics, the searching, the hurt, and the bitterness. One where the protagonist can stop yelling at his God and at his walls that life just isn't fair. That he had put up with way too much to be walking around empty-handed. One where even though life has dangled some tempting options in front of his face, even to some disastrous results, he had managed to sort through all of the mistakes and diversions to catch a glimpse of what he truly wanted. Not perfection, by any means, but what could fall in love with.

Part 2: Where It's Not That Simple
While I'm sure everyone is aware, sometimes it's just worth saying.
Most importantly, you have to be willing to fight for any good thing you want in your life. Sometimes they'll be small battles; the kind you get over the second they're done. Sometimes they'll be bigger battles with mountains of casualties. Either way, you have to tighten your belt and dive right in before fear leaves you paralyzed on the sidelines--or in the path of the oncoming cavalry. And they ride fast motherfucking horses.
I don't claim to be bulletproof. I think this discussion was raised before (what discussion? I just talk to myself here); however, I still try to be. But like any shield, or dam, or phalanx, when you start to show cracks, some things are bound to slip through. So we make the corrosion of distance Enemy #1. And all you can do is hope you've got a little Hans Brinker in you somewhere. Because all it takes is one moment of you not minding that crack, and suddenly everything you love is overwhelmed by a flood of discouragement, frustration, and helplessness.
Something about this experience of completion just drives me insane. There's a reason people are afraid of having their whole lives laid out for them--frankly it's just scary shit. So we make blueprints for your future Enemy #2. I always took myself for the kind to make a long commitment. And I am that guy. But it doesn't make it any easier. Call me weak, but it definitely is a battle.

Part 3: Where It's All Worth It
In a slew of metaphors: I'm holding up that boulder with my arms and legs cut off, in the middle of the Apocalypse, with steel-reinforced, 30-foot tall Trojan horses with 600 horsepower (ironically) bearing down on me. And I'm standing here, holding my broken shield, water seeping through the dam and my lines broken saying, "Whatever it takes."

My Newest Music:
Gifted ft. Kanye West, Santogold, Lykke Li - N.A.S.A.
Bad News - Kanye West
Laundry Day (My Freeze Ray) - Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
Sinnerman - Nina Simone
My Hero - Paramore


"I will stay here till morning."

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I think perhaps I'll including embedded videos in every post. Wouldn't that be fun?